Tuesday, February 27, 2007

25 things you should know before middle age + one more

1.If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2.Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3.Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4.It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
5.Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6.My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7.Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8.It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9.For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10.If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11.Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12.A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13.Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14.Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15.No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16.A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17.Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18.Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19.Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20.There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21.Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22.By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23.Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24.Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25.If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Plus one more
from Health Cares, Rochester General Hospital via Chapter 240's newsletter AND THE BEAT GOES ON... (reprint from The Mended Hearts, Inc. publication, Heart Response)
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, this article seemed in order.) Without help the person whose heart stops beating properly and who begins to feel Faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating.

The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a phone and, between breaths, call for help.

Tell as many other people as possible about this, it could save their lives!


Jeni said...

Lots of good pointers there but my personal favorite is #6 - about my view on cleaning being "Sweeping the room with a glance!" Yep, that pretty much says it all for me there!

Gene Bach said...

Just a test...trying to leave a comment on your blog. They are disappearing.

RUTH said...

What a great list....I relate to so many of them. Thanks for the heart attack info...always handy to know.


Insert smiley face here.