Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Connecting - What does that mean?

I am reading a book right now which is about relationships. Specifically in this book it is about God, but I am sure a lot of it applies to human relationships. I have never felt I am very good at relationships or at least what I think it means. I am not particularly demonstrative, being uncomfortable with a lot of emotion and I don't think I have a romantic bone in my body. I am the ultimate pragmatist.

There is a lot of mention about connecting in the book, what does that mean to you? To me it is having common interests, good conversation and seeing each other once in a while, but I feel that what the writer means is sharing deep personal revelations, having warm feelings for the other person and hanging out with that person all the time.

I hope I am connected to my husband, we get on well, we each value our own space, lots of it, and we value each others space. We are affectionate but not overly emotional. We talk about everything, we are best friends.

I notice that many people on blogs leave messages about loving their internet friends, how can that be if you have never met them. I must be missing something, I can appreciate a person's mind, their ability to share clearly but it doesn't make me love them. Is there something about connecting with others that I am missing do you think? Some people blogs are very popular and I think they have found this ingredient of good content and connectivity.


Jeni said...

I don't think you're "missing" anything at all - I think you are just very discerning and not one to go way overboard at the drop of a hat. Or maybe it is that society tends to abuse (in my opinion anyway) the use of the word "love" too -so much so that people may think they are "in love" when actually, they are only "in like."

latt├ęgirl said...

About love and bloggers/strangers:

I think there can be various levels of love. Some bloggers I have connected with, I might probably think "Oh! I love her!" when I actually mean "like and appreciate very much." And I am connected to several bloggers in that way, and there really is a bond. When you get to the point of sending real cards and gifts by mail, picking up the phone and talking to each other, that is a good connection.

Having said that, there were bloggers and chatpeople I knew in the past where we formed a strong connection quite quickly, but that connection was just as easily broken - often for no obvious reason... the people in question would get busy with real life, blog less often or stop altogether, stop answering emails, move away and not get back in touch, etc. For awhile I mourned those lost bonds but have since learned that that is simply the nature of the medium. Easy come easy go, but while the connections are there and thriving, I enjoy them.

Closer connections (e.g. with a spouse) well, that's a whole different thing.

Laura said...

Interesting post. A connection with another for me is hard to describe. I describe myself as an outgoing introvert - I am friendly and get along with others well, but it's rare for me to meet someone new and hit it off with them in such a way that I want to make plans with them again in the future. A connection would be a rare "spark" that I feel around someone new that makes me happy, really enjoy the conversation, want to know more about them and forget about trying to keep the conversation going. It just flows. It doens't have to be a romantic spark by the way.

To feel personally connected to my fiance we need to spend time together, know the mundane things about each other's day to day life, and also talk regularly about our hopes, dreams, aspirations and ideas. I need to look forward to seeing him and laugh with him and be affectionate with him. That's a connection to me.

As for your question about falling in love with someone without meeting them, I know it is possible because it has happened to me but I don't know if it can happen to everyone. I tend to be someone who falls in love easily, but I know it's real love. I don't let it go easily if it doesn't work out. I believe that to love someone, their physical body is not what matters but the essence of their personality is what's important, and you CAN get that over the phone and in writing! Before my fiance I met someone in a chat room who lived thousands of miles away. We fell in love totally and completely, even though he turned out to be wrong for me. But it took me four years to get over him and I never even met him in person. I know it was real love. It's rare though.