I am upset with my husband right now so I am going to let go some steam right here. It is a trivial thing really but he just doesn't get it. He told me over supper this evening that I am getting a double chin. Well that is probably true I am sixty after all and everything sags! Another point he has made.
We women don't need to be told that we are getting less attractive, we are our own fiercest critics. This hurts especially since I have lost 15lbs in the last 4 months. I need to be encouraged, getting old in our society does not come with honour.
I have told him before that it would be nice to be told sometimes that I look nice, that an outfit I am wearing looks good, etc., but he just says I must be insecure in that I need him to admire me once in a while. I think it is a built in human need, not just women need to be admired and appreciated. I often tell him he looks good when he gets dressed up, or something he does has turned out great, but if I ask him if he enjoyed his meal he looks surprised and says "Well I ate it didn't I".
Now don't get me wrong I know he loves me, and I love him, but he just doesn't believe in compliments, although I notice he likes me to make note of the efforts he makes fixing up our place. He only notices when his daughters have put on a few pounds but never mentions when they have made an effort in another area.
I think this might be the English way of backhanded encouragement. I remember my father and aunt doing it to me. Point out the bad things and maybe they'll do better, seemed to be the maxim when I was growing up. My father used say to me "How come you only got a B+ why didn't you get an A". I have heard my husband's daughters complain that he also used to say things like this. We all need encouragement in this world we certainly don't need our nearest and dearest to pull us down.
So I got mad at him for being insensitive but I still don't think he will change, after all he's 69 and you can't teach old dogs new tricks, so that means I will be bitchy once in a while when I get upset. So now who apologizes first, I probably will because he just doesn't see why I should have got upset in the first place. So that makes me madder still!