Sunday, October 21, 2007

Unfulfilled dreams

I have just been visiting JMB and she has a post called 'Unfulfilled dreams' which started me thinking about some of mine.

I share some dreams with JMB, in that I would have loved to speak another language. I started learning French in Kindergarten and carried on with French lessons into High School and although I could read, write, take dictation, I was never able to express myself well. I think the English system of being overly concerned with pronunciation and correct grammar is very inhibiting. I tried again many years later but by that time I had forgotten much of what I had learned and gave up. I decided that on the west coast of Canada I would be better off learning Japanese or Chinese anyway and I was not up to that challenge.

Another dream that I share with JMB is to have been an expert at something, however I am a Jack of all trades. I know a bit about many things but cannot be called an expert in much. Although I have found that in the long run it was better for me to be able to turn my mind or hand to just about anything rather than being limited to expertize in one thing.

One of my dreams was to be musical, any instrument would do, also to have a beautiful singing voice. Sadly I am tone deaf and cannot carry a tune. A fact that makes my Welsh ancestors writhe in their graves. I tried to learn piano in school and made my teacher almost insane, I am afraid, or at least I think that was the expression on her face. Several years ago I decided to buy myself an electric organ and took lessons but we soon realized I would never be able to play in a manner that would cause anyone else to recognize the song, so I accepted my limitations in that area.

I would have liked to have been a great orator, speaking to the souls of men and women, bringing healing and change, mostly I tend to open my mouth at the wrong time and say things I later regret, although they were innocent enough at the time. I restrict myself now to great speeches I make to myself while walking. I move myself if nothing else.

These however are acceptance of natural limitations and I don't count myself a failure because I did not succeed in these.


Jeni said...

I can definitely relate to this aspect -jack of all trades; master at none! Especially your last paragraph about being a great orator. I can think of all kinds of great things I'd like to say or that I think should be made public, etc., but given any bit of opportunity to do that, my mind turns to mush! Or stays as mush maybe?

Cicero Sings said...

I always wanted to be musical too but am also tone deaf ... much to my husband's chagrin ... who is quite musical! He loves me anyway.

I can also relate to be a little good at a fair number of things ... not excelling in any. It made career choices difficult in my early years ... to the point that I just drifted into the jobs I did have. But God was good and they were good paying jobs ... for a gal with only a high school diploma.

I must say, I don't really dwell on what could have been ... I quite enjoy the moment. There were choices I maybe could have made better (whose to say having not gone that way) but I learned and grew within the direction(s) I did take ... so I can't complain. I don't really feel that there is anything that I just have to do before I die ... but any adventures along the way, to that time, are most welcome!

Latharia said...

It can't hurt to dream, to stretch, and to revisit those things -- who knows, maybe you could do them, now! :)

Shelby said...

i relate to this too, but dwell on the here and now and tomorrows, not yesterdays so much..

sending hugs..

Natalie said...

Here's the answer to your question about paid blogging:

I've only been doing it for about 2 months, but have made about $500. I know some who make more, but I do it just as a side thing to help us get out of debt. and are my favorites. :)

Natalie said...

You've been gifted w/a sweet treat on my blog!

I believe it's never too late to fulfill your dreams. :)