Thursday, July 17, 2008

Anxiety is a crippling problem

My husband is older than I and I often worry if I will be able to make it on my own, especially living here in the middle of nowhere. With about a quarter acre of land to look after, snow to remove and things that go wrong in a home when you can't get people to come out to fix them. He is so competent that I just depend on him to do all these things. Although turned 70 he is very fit and strong and could well outlive me. I also am constantly going over our finances in my head even though we are not in anyway going without and thinking about if my pension will be enough etc. if I am on my own.

Lately I have been anxious about a long trip I will be taking by myself this Sunday and returning Wednesday, about 1,600 miles round trip. It seems I have lost my sense of adventure, I did lots of things when I was younger but now I am over 60 I seem dominated to some extent by fear. I don't know if this is age related or the fact that having got married to my dear competent and protective husband ten years ago I have learned to lean on him too much. Something I would advise women, who generally outlive their husbands to avoid doing. It is quite crippling to be come dependent.

The other thing that is a problem right now is my blood pressure, it keeps dropping too low and I feel faint. The doctor is aware of it. Right now I feel a bit peculiar and yesterday it was 85/53 but later went up to its normal 118/65 so I think I will go and put my feet up for a bit.


Cicero Sings said...

I too, wonder how I would manage without D and we have only been married coming up on 4 years! I was on my own and managed until I was 50 ... amazing how fast the independence goes!

Fear is in deed crippling ... good to remind oneself that He who loves you will watch over you. But I know ... I would really hate to make that long trip by myself. Ugh! Will you do it all in one day? You can stay here a night on your way home if it would break it up for you.

I don't know what to say about low blood pressure. My blood pressure is on the very low end of the scale and they say that is fine if that is where your blood pressure normally sits. D's is usually on the high side. I do hope you find out what is causing this ... not good to travel if something is out of whack.

Amy said...

So sorry you're not feeling well with the low blood pressure. I hope the Dr. figures it out soon.

I've never been adventurous enough to take the trip you are, on my own :) Once we're out of Hope and heading to the big city I'm stressed out and I'm not even driving, lol!

I too have worried about what would happen if I was alone...with three children. My husband travels regularly, all over the world, and it often gone for a week or two. It's been a good experience for me to see that I can manage fine without him if I have to!

Karen & Mike said...

Are you taking medication for your diabetes? Metformin can cause hypotension. Are you restricting salt? Being a bit more liberal with the salt shaker may help.